The Wife God Wants You To Be

Temple Baptist Church - 7-20-2011

Ephesians 5:21-24

Introduction:

A. I am not going to begin a series on the home tonight as my aim is to preach through the book of Ephesians but it is impossible for me to accomplish my goal without dealing with these verses throughly. Bro. Craig Ledbetter, missionary to Ireland, prefaced a message on the home with this insight:

“We are a “homeless” generation! Fifty years ago it would have been impossible to conceive of the devastation to family life that is spreading throughout the world. One magazine article stated, “We are fast becoming a homeless race. We are born in hospitals, raised in daycares, taught in schools, married in churches, we vacation in resorts, we entertain our friends in restaurants, we die in hospitals, and are buried via funeral parlours. To most families, home is a dull place that family members resort to for the minimum of sleep, a rushed meal, or to wait for the return of the family car before heading out again! The homes that we do have, that we live in, are crumbling under the weights of sin, and human failures!”

B. To these words I can only say, “Amen!” One of the most vicious attacks of Satan in these last days is upon the structure and spiritual effectiveness of the home. As goes the home, so goes the church! As goes the home, so goes the nation! The home was the first institution that God made when He brought Eve to Adam. This should reveal to us the value of our homes to both the Lord and society.

C. The home is a “nest” for the raising of our children. The home is a refuge for our families from the wickedness and confusion of the world. The home is a daily “Sunday School and Church” for the development of our spiritual lives. I may catch a little “flack” for this statement but I believe that the home is the most important structure in your life! Yes, church is important but you are only in church a couple of days a week and, then, just for a few hours. You spend more time in bed in one night than you spend in church on the average week.

D. The scriptural preface to these verses is that of the filling of the Holy Ghost which leads us to know just how important it is for the husband and wife to be right with the Lord in every aspect of their lives. To be right with the Lord is to be right with each other. To be right with the Lord is to be right in God’s order. Thus, the filling of the Holy Ghost is the strength of the foundation of the home!

E. Now, I want you ladies to pay particular attention to what I am going to say. I believe that the Lord began with the woman in the home because He is a God of order and, in these next few verses, He is going to set forth the order that God intended in the home. The world has called the real man (the man that God intended for men to be) chauvinistic! The world always slanders what God sets forth and approves of.

F. The woman of today is nothing like what God intended when He created Eve. What I will say now will possibly make someone angry, but it needs to be said.

1. She was not intended to be career orientated or in the work force. Today’s woman has established herself in the work force and the home is forever changed. Ask your daughter what she wants to be when she grows up!

2. She was not intended to be independent. Today’s woman is self-sufficient and can make it without the man.

3. She was not intended to be masculine in her deportment. Today’s woman is tough instead of soft, mannish instead of feminine.
4. She was not intended to be either brash or bold. Today’s woman will not drop her eyes and can be as crude as any man.

5. She was not intended to be in competition with the man. Today’s woman wants to excel in business and sports.

6. She was not intended to be a sex object for the lustful eyes of other men. Today’s woman dresses and carries herself in order to attract man’s eyes. She has little morality, restraint, or purity.

7. She was made for Adam! She was made to be his helpmeet; she was made to complete his life; she was made to fulfill his desires; she was made specifically to love him, bear and love her children, and to guide the home! Period! Nothing more and nothing less! When the woman is what God intended she is the greatest asset and blessing (outside of Christ) that the world will ever know.

G. I want to set forth the structure and priority of the home:

1. Jesus is the “head” of the man. 1 Corinthians 11:3a “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ”

2. The husband is the “head” of the wife. 1 Corinthians 11:3b “and the head of the woman is the man”
3. The husband and wife are the “heads” of the children. Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (2) Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) (3) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

H. It is as simple and profound as that! Keep the order right and you keep the home right.

LET US LOOK AT WOMAN THIS MORNING AS GOD INTENDED HER TO BE.

1. Submission Is Her Duty – It takes a Lot of Love for God! Ecclesiastes 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

Though submission through “duty” may not be the best scenario, it is still a command of God and should be obeyed. Ladies, calling your husband “lord” is the will of God in your life. Submission produces two things: Obedience to God’s Word and Trust in His Providence. Proverbs 3:5-6 become a reality in the life of the submissive woman as God protects her as she obeys His command.

2. Submission Should Be Her Desire – It takes a Lot of Grace! 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

It takes a lot of ‘grace” in order to have a proper home. Biblical grace is defines as “the divine influence upon the heart, and its reflection in the life of the believer.” God gives grace where He guides and His grace is abundant and all sufficient. BUT, submission should be much more than just duty. Submission should be accompanied with desire. The Lord told Eve that her desire was to be toward her husband. Lady, if you have a good man who loves you, provides for you, protects you, and is faithful to you—you are indeed blessed and loving him should not be a chore. Our homes, unfortunately, have been “hollywoodized” instead of “biblicized!” The elder women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). If you love your husband, then biblical obedience will not be a real problem. No, he is not perfect; no, he is not always right; but if you will leave those two faults up to God to work out, you will be a happy lady.

3. Submission Will Be Her Delight – It will bring a Lot of Glory! Proverbs 31:28-31 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. (29) Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. (30) Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. (31) Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

1) Your life will bring glory to your husband! 1 Corinthians 11:7 “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.” I find it interesting that the “glory of the children” are their fathers; but the glory of the men are their wives. That leaves me to one conclusion as there is no mention of what is the “glory of the woman:” the glory of the woman is the Lord! 1 Peter 3:4 “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” 1 Corinthians speaks of the woman’s long hair being “her glory.” 1 Corinthians 11:15 “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.” The “long hair” of the woman speaks of her voluntarily taking a place of submission to her husband which brings glory to her Lord.”
Conclusion: The woman can be the world’s greatest blessing (Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.) or curse (Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.) It is simply up to you! Ladies, be all that God wants you to be and you will fulfill your “sole” purpose for being here: a “helpmeet” for your husband. It will be worth it all here in this life and will certainly be worth it all one day when you see Christ!